I am up in Black Butte again with my family. I had to spend a few days back in Portland working. It is good to be back up here...absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that stuff you know.
I think of things all the time to write about, but when the time is available to write something all those great ideas have receded in the my mental tar pit. Once they go in there they seem doomed to stay forever. But what has been on my mind quite a bit lately is Bridget.
My wife is a very good person and wife. She is very nice to me especially. For example, she was up here with the boys pretty much solo (Ilene and her girls are up here too, but they have their own stuff) and then I arrived late Tuesday night and then early yesterday morning I am off mountain biking until about 3pm. She didn't begrudge me the time or complain. Sure she was tired when I arrived home and I did my best to relieve her despite my own aches and pains, but she was really great about the whole thing.
Once the boys were in bed and asleep we got to spend some time in the hot tub. She has borne us three children. One cesarean section and the last two through the regular exit. But dang, she look better than before we were married. She weighs less, she works out, basically she does it all. And she just seems generally happy--at least when she is not dealing with her duties as Primary President. She is sort of my Wonder Woman.
The day I was listening to a radio show, I think it was the Dan Patrick Show (a sports related program). I particularly like that show. This particular day they were a bit off topic. They were talking about cute versus sexy. They theorized that a woman would be rather called sexy than cute. Sexy is sort of a word that encompasses lots of things; confidence, intelligence, attractiveness and I think just a little bit something else that is hard to describe but when it is there you know it. Bridget is sexy. Hers sexiness sort of sneaks up on you. She doesn't flaunt her stuff--well not normally (but when she does...ehem, anyway). But cute...is just sort of for amateurs. Cute is for teenage girls. Not for women.
One of the best things about Bridget is that I know that she really loves me. There aren't any petty games. It is just all there in the open. Despite all of my shortcomings and over 9 years of marriage she is here at my side dragging me along to help me be a better person. And dang it I really love her, more than ever. Frankly, I can't imagine having things any better unless someone could figure out how we could spend just a little more time alone (bow-chicka-wow-woo). We appreciate our time together without kids much more so than before when we had only one or none. It is the whole supply and demand curve thing I suppose. Funny how economic principles can apply to relationships...but I digress.
Recently heard about a couple that are or were having some issues. It is very sad to say the least. Perhaps they took each other for granted. Not really sure, and it isn't really my business. As time has gone on I have increasingly realized how lucky I am. Sure we have a few hiccups here and there, but if only everyone could have a spouse like Bridget. Not exactly like her--because she is the puzzle piece that fits me--but someone that compliments and helps to bring out the best in you. Someone that makes you feel great.
Patrick is probably on the cusp of this. I hope so.
I don't have any advice on how to find the perfect person, except this--don't settle but don't expect perfection. Our relationship at first was not perfect. Things this good take time to mature and develop. She especially put a lot into this relationship and hopefully things are good from her perspective too. I mean I actually remember that her birthday is next week--that is pretty good for a husband I think. I may even be ahead of the curve in some respects.
I love you, Bridget.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Yummy
Colin likes his refried beans. He also likes fudgesickles. This is what he looks like after eating both.
We are in Black Butte Ranch right now, it has been fun. We've been swimming, riding bikes and playing with cousins. It is nice to get away to this great area, we are lucky to have such easy access to it.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Haircuts and July Update
Ryan and Jack needed a haircut. And they wanted it short. Here they are:
Sorry the picture is grainy. It was taken with a camera phone.
Jack doesn't want to have his hair long again (it was nearly 8 inches long in spots). He likes that when he takes a bath it takes hardly anytime to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. He hates that part of the bath the most.
Jacks 4th birthday is next week and we are debating what to do. He really isn't old enough to have a party with friends. Maybe we will see a movie and go play somewhere out of the ordinary. He outgrew his Batman costume from last Halloween (although he still wears it nearly everyday for at least some period of time) and so we bought him a new one that is bigger. I can't believe that he wears it so much. He is a funny little man.
Ryan has a soccer camp all next week. He will learn some new skills and it is taught by some professionals. It was sort of spendy, but he really enjoys soccer. We had to sign him up for this months ago to get a spot. I hope he likes it.
Ryan continues to have golf lessons at Grandpa Leroy's golf club. He really enjoys it. He listens well. Last week he corrected Leroy on his stance. He told him that when he swings his foot wasn't supposed to be moving. And Grandpa told him he was correct. Grandpa took joy in the fact that his Grandson was correcting him. I guess to told a lot of people at the club, sort of bragging about him.
With Ryan, he is self motivated. Trying to motivate him externally is difficult. But if he likes something he really gets into it in a competitive way. That goes for reading and sports like soccer and golf so far. Oh, and yes, he still sticks his tongue out anytime he is doing something athletically that requires concentration. It is automatic.
Sorry the picture is grainy. It was taken with a camera phone.
Jack doesn't want to have his hair long again (it was nearly 8 inches long in spots). He likes that when he takes a bath it takes hardly anytime to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. He hates that part of the bath the most.
Jacks 4th birthday is next week and we are debating what to do. He really isn't old enough to have a party with friends. Maybe we will see a movie and go play somewhere out of the ordinary. He outgrew his Batman costume from last Halloween (although he still wears it nearly everyday for at least some period of time) and so we bought him a new one that is bigger. I can't believe that he wears it so much. He is a funny little man.
Ryan has a soccer camp all next week. He will learn some new skills and it is taught by some professionals. It was sort of spendy, but he really enjoys soccer. We had to sign him up for this months ago to get a spot. I hope he likes it.
Ryan continues to have golf lessons at Grandpa Leroy's golf club. He really enjoys it. He listens well. Last week he corrected Leroy on his stance. He told him that when he swings his foot wasn't supposed to be moving. And Grandpa told him he was correct. Grandpa took joy in the fact that his Grandson was correcting him. I guess to told a lot of people at the club, sort of bragging about him.
With Ryan, he is self motivated. Trying to motivate him externally is difficult. But if he likes something he really gets into it in a competitive way. That goes for reading and sports like soccer and golf so far. Oh, and yes, he still sticks his tongue out anytime he is doing something athletically that requires concentration. It is automatic.
Been There
I don't read the Fat Cyclist blog so much recently. Basically, because he is going through with his wife is much the same stuff that we went through with Dad at the end, only he has been going through this for so much longer. I feel very sad for them and since I don't really feel like reliving the last couple of weeks with Dad, I don't read it much. It doesn't mean I don't care, it is just that the reading of it doesn't help me much. At least not right now. I wish them well, even though I have never met Eldon, the Fat Cyclist. I know some of his friends well, and they spoke well of him even before this. I do think he has handled things in a very wonderful way.
Even though I haven't wished him well on his blog, I do. I just don't feel that anything I could say would do justice to his situation.
Even though I haven't wished him well on his blog, I do. I just don't feel that anything I could say would do justice to his situation.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Lonely
I near the end of my time here in California. It has been a long time, nearly a month since I arrived to help my Dad out as he was in the hospital for cancer. Back then we thought he still had weeks if not a couple of months. He was gone a week after I arrived. Weird to think about that now.
After that there was the funeral arrangements, the service to figure out, attempting to get his military records so he could be buried in a National Cemetery, and finally figuring out what to do with all of his stuff. And there was so, so much of it. Most of it nearly worthless at this point. And trying to figure out was wasn't was time consuming.
We had to clear out the storage units, take stuff to the dump (about 1 ton worth of junk in total according to the scales at the dump). That was a dusty job. Not a pleasant one either in this heat.
The yard sale that we had was more successful than I hoped and has helped to pay for expenses this month and the lawyer we are going to put on retainer to do the probate.
Dad's debts are approximately as much as his assets. Maybe a little more. I still have to file two years worth of taxes. But at least he paid his estimated taxes. He may even get a return from the IRS, but he thought he would probably owe some to the State.
My brother and sisters were here to help. We haven't quarrelled about the stuff that Dad had and so my job as executor has not been hard in that regard. My Mom, who divorced Dad a few years ago, really stepped up to help. She welcomed Dad back to the house for his final few days in hospice after his discharge from the hospital. There was enough room here that everyone could be here when Dad passed on, including Dad's sisters. He would have appreciated that I know.
While I was so busy and stressed trying to get everything done, feeling the weight of everything on my back it was relatively easy to put the emotional stuff on the back burner. Except for my time talking at the funeral--I was emotional then--that was my only weak point. I don't much like the weepy stuff. I don't like it at all. I would rather keep it locked up and let it fade away. Usually it does. Sometimes it comes out later...
Anyway, right now the only ones at Mom's house are Mom and me. It is way quiet. My family flew back early yesterday morning and the Sunny and her family left yesterday evening. Last night I watched an old movie with Mom and Stephanie called the Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer. It was good, amusing in a good natured way. Today has been full of last minute details. One last trip to donate old stuff, one last trip to the dump, one last trip for a few other things. Oh, and the shop that is fixing Dad's Harley-Davidson lost it--they found it, but it stressed me out for about an hour. So many little things to do the past few weeks...now it is time to get back to regular life. Time to drive up to Oregon and start working again.
Until that time, I am uncomfortable in this quiet house. This house with some many memories. Many of them bad, or uncomfortable. Now, there are some more sad ones too. But, while I am sort of sad right now, I did have a great time with Sunny, her husband Spencer and their kids, and with Patrick and Stephanie. Once my wife arrived with our rugrats, the house was full and there was never a dull moment. It is just too quiet and I don't like being left with my thoughts so much right now--mainly because I start thinking of my father and things that just seemed unfinished. Honestly, I never wanted to finish them--those things that bugged me about Dad or the way he and I related to each other. I spent many years just wanting to avoid him except for holidays and so forth. Spending time with him was...well it was just a lot of work. It is hard to describe unless you knew him. But he could talk forever. I found one of his last cell phone bills and for a guy with few close friends he still managed to talk for around 2400 minutes. I think I usually talk for about 800 minutes a month on my cell phone. I think I accounted for about 60 of those minutes.
Well, I guess I will go with Mom here for a final sandwich at D'Elia's and then pack up. About 1,050 miles later I will be home.
After that there was the funeral arrangements, the service to figure out, attempting to get his military records so he could be buried in a National Cemetery, and finally figuring out what to do with all of his stuff. And there was so, so much of it. Most of it nearly worthless at this point. And trying to figure out was wasn't was time consuming.
We had to clear out the storage units, take stuff to the dump (about 1 ton worth of junk in total according to the scales at the dump). That was a dusty job. Not a pleasant one either in this heat.
The yard sale that we had was more successful than I hoped and has helped to pay for expenses this month and the lawyer we are going to put on retainer to do the probate.
Dad's debts are approximately as much as his assets. Maybe a little more. I still have to file two years worth of taxes. But at least he paid his estimated taxes. He may even get a return from the IRS, but he thought he would probably owe some to the State.
My brother and sisters were here to help. We haven't quarrelled about the stuff that Dad had and so my job as executor has not been hard in that regard. My Mom, who divorced Dad a few years ago, really stepped up to help. She welcomed Dad back to the house for his final few days in hospice after his discharge from the hospital. There was enough room here that everyone could be here when Dad passed on, including Dad's sisters. He would have appreciated that I know.
While I was so busy and stressed trying to get everything done, feeling the weight of everything on my back it was relatively easy to put the emotional stuff on the back burner. Except for my time talking at the funeral--I was emotional then--that was my only weak point. I don't much like the weepy stuff. I don't like it at all. I would rather keep it locked up and let it fade away. Usually it does. Sometimes it comes out later...
Anyway, right now the only ones at Mom's house are Mom and me. It is way quiet. My family flew back early yesterday morning and the Sunny and her family left yesterday evening. Last night I watched an old movie with Mom and Stephanie called the Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer. It was good, amusing in a good natured way. Today has been full of last minute details. One last trip to donate old stuff, one last trip to the dump, one last trip for a few other things. Oh, and the shop that is fixing Dad's Harley-Davidson lost it--they found it, but it stressed me out for about an hour. So many little things to do the past few weeks...now it is time to get back to regular life. Time to drive up to Oregon and start working again.
Until that time, I am uncomfortable in this quiet house. This house with some many memories. Many of them bad, or uncomfortable. Now, there are some more sad ones too. But, while I am sort of sad right now, I did have a great time with Sunny, her husband Spencer and their kids, and with Patrick and Stephanie. Once my wife arrived with our rugrats, the house was full and there was never a dull moment. It is just too quiet and I don't like being left with my thoughts so much right now--mainly because I start thinking of my father and things that just seemed unfinished. Honestly, I never wanted to finish them--those things that bugged me about Dad or the way he and I related to each other. I spent many years just wanting to avoid him except for holidays and so forth. Spending time with him was...well it was just a lot of work. It is hard to describe unless you knew him. But he could talk forever. I found one of his last cell phone bills and for a guy with few close friends he still managed to talk for around 2400 minutes. I think I usually talk for about 800 minutes a month on my cell phone. I think I accounted for about 60 of those minutes.
Well, I guess I will go with Mom here for a final sandwich at D'Elia's and then pack up. About 1,050 miles later I will be home.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Pictures for my boys
Here is a letter to my boys while I am down in California helping to take care of my Dad and they are up in Portland with Bridget.
Ryan and Jack,
While I am down here in California there are some fun sights to see. I thought you guys might like to see some of them before you guys come down in a week or two.
First, while driving with your Aunt Stephanie I saw this Monster Bus. You guys would have thought it was really great.
Then today while with your Uncle Patrick I saw a van with some really weird rims. They look like they belong in a Speed Racer cartoon. If you don't watch out the driver might bump into you and pop your tires!
Then I also finally got to have my favorite hamburger from In N Out, it is called a Double Double. So awesome!
Miss you guys!
-Dad
Ryan and Jack,
While I am down here in California there are some fun sights to see. I thought you guys might like to see some of them before you guys come down in a week or two.
First, while driving with your Aunt Stephanie I saw this Monster Bus. You guys would have thought it was really great.
Then today while with your Uncle Patrick I saw a van with some really weird rims. They look like they belong in a Speed Racer cartoon. If you don't watch out the driver might bump into you and pop your tires!
Then I also finally got to have my favorite hamburger from In N Out, it is called a Double Double. So awesome!
Miss you guys!
-Dad
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Boys + Digital Camera
The Ryan and Jack received our old digital camera. They occassionally take pictures and when they do it is usually total randomness. Here are today's pictures, plus a video. I didn't edit any of the pictures. They like taking pictures of each their butts. I was surprised they didn't take pictures of more random stuff. And Jack took most if not all of the pictures.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Quick Updates
Things have been way busy here. Sorry for no posts lately.
Here we go....
Colin still loves pizza
Bridget went sans family to Black Butte last weekend. She went with other slacker moms from our ward and they had a great time. I don't know what goes on when a bunch of mothers have escaped their families, and I probably don't want to know. What happens in Black Butte...
The kids and I survived, but with substantial help from Grandma Joan since I had to work Friday night and Saturday. I was very glad when she arrived back home Sunday around 3 or 4. I was counting down the minutes.
Jack learned a new word at church, omnipotent. But when he says it, it sounds more like "Nippleton." Oddly enough, we live near Beaverton. Perhaps Nippleton is just a bit further north of us up in the hills?
Ryan has a heck of a time eating corn on the cob with his newest loose tooth. Yet he wants an ear along with the rest of the family otherwise he feels left out. But he won't let us cut the corn off the cob either. His ear of corn ends up with just a bunch of little nicks in it where he tried to bite with basically his K9 teeth on one side of his mouth.
We went to a swimming pool on Monday and Colin really loved the water. He had a special baby raft that allowed him to have his legs in water. It was great and we all had fun. I will post some pics below the updates of us after we were done at Leroy's country club where the pool was located.
Jack likes to go knock on neighbors doors wearing his Batman Costume from last Halloween. I am sure you can find a picture of him back in October of 2008 in the blog if interested. He wears that costume to play in probably 3 or 4 times per week. Ryan never got in to costumes like Jack does. If he has the mask over his eyes you have to call him Batman. If the mask is raised over his eyes just a bit so you can see all of his face, then you have to call him Jack because then he is not Batman anymore. He is also occasionally Bolt the dog from the recent movie. He will not answer to Jack during those times either.
Ryan seems to go to friends' houses for play dates all of the time. I am happy about this. Having some close friends is a great thing. He seems to have 4 or 5 really good friends from school that he regularly spends time with outside of school.
I have an new cell phone. It is an iPhone. Seriously. This. Is. The. Best. Device. Ever. Made.
We are doing well overall despite a few challenges to ourselves to some around us. We hope all of you are doing well, as well.
Here we go....
Colin still loves pizza
Bridget went sans family to Black Butte last weekend. She went with other slacker moms from our ward and they had a great time. I don't know what goes on when a bunch of mothers have escaped their families, and I probably don't want to know. What happens in Black Butte...
The kids and I survived, but with substantial help from Grandma Joan since I had to work Friday night and Saturday. I was very glad when she arrived back home Sunday around 3 or 4. I was counting down the minutes.
Jack learned a new word at church, omnipotent. But when he says it, it sounds more like "Nippleton." Oddly enough, we live near Beaverton. Perhaps Nippleton is just a bit further north of us up in the hills?
Ryan has a heck of a time eating corn on the cob with his newest loose tooth. Yet he wants an ear along with the rest of the family otherwise he feels left out. But he won't let us cut the corn off the cob either. His ear of corn ends up with just a bunch of little nicks in it where he tried to bite with basically his K9 teeth on one side of his mouth.
We went to a swimming pool on Monday and Colin really loved the water. He had a special baby raft that allowed him to have his legs in water. It was great and we all had fun. I will post some pics below the updates of us after we were done at Leroy's country club where the pool was located.
Jack likes to go knock on neighbors doors wearing his Batman Costume from last Halloween. I am sure you can find a picture of him back in October of 2008 in the blog if interested. He wears that costume to play in probably 3 or 4 times per week. Ryan never got in to costumes like Jack does. If he has the mask over his eyes you have to call him Batman. If the mask is raised over his eyes just a bit so you can see all of his face, then you have to call him Jack because then he is not Batman anymore. He is also occasionally Bolt the dog from the recent movie. He will not answer to Jack during those times either.
Ryan seems to go to friends' houses for play dates all of the time. I am happy about this. Having some close friends is a great thing. He seems to have 4 or 5 really good friends from school that he regularly spends time with outside of school.
I have an new cell phone. It is an iPhone. Seriously. This. Is. The. Best. Device. Ever. Made.
We are doing well overall despite a few challenges to ourselves to some around us. We hope all of you are doing well, as well.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
It's a wife thing
#1 and #2 and I were out on the town--you know hang out like men do. I was the designated driver and they were in the back seat chillin' during an evening on the prowl with no ladies to drag us down. Just the boys being boys.
Somehow we got on the topic of marriage, I believe it was #1 that brought it up. #2 said that he was going to get married on day also, but that he wasn't going to go to church, like priesthood nor was he going to work. #1 said that priesthood meeting was cool and that that was what you had to do when he got married. Then #1 said that maybe when he got married his wife would have kids. I asked him what he meant. He said that he didn't really know if his wife would have kids yet when they got married or if it would be after. He wasn't sure because that is a "wife thing" and we don't really know about that stuff since we are guys. "That is their thing you know," I believe is what he said.
I didn't probe too much further. I am really not out to raise male chauvinists. I just don't think he has any idea about the reproduction cycle yet. But he wasn't really too concerned about whether his wife came with kids or not, that was not really an issue for him, he just knew that kids came into play at some point and that this was not really anything within his realm of control, thus it is just one of those "wife things."
#1 said that his wife would have blond hair and #2 said that his would have yellow hair. I asked about brown hair, #1 said no, but black hair would be fine.
I really just let the conversation flow with only an occasional question here and there. Kids are wacky.
Somehow we got on the topic of marriage, I believe it was #1 that brought it up. #2 said that he was going to get married on day also, but that he wasn't going to go to church, like priesthood nor was he going to work. #1 said that priesthood meeting was cool and that that was what you had to do when he got married. Then #1 said that maybe when he got married his wife would have kids. I asked him what he meant. He said that he didn't really know if his wife would have kids yet when they got married or if it would be after. He wasn't sure because that is a "wife thing" and we don't really know about that stuff since we are guys. "That is their thing you know," I believe is what he said.
I didn't probe too much further. I am really not out to raise male chauvinists. I just don't think he has any idea about the reproduction cycle yet. But he wasn't really too concerned about whether his wife came with kids or not, that was not really an issue for him, he just knew that kids came into play at some point and that this was not really anything within his realm of control, thus it is just one of those "wife things."
#1 said that his wife would have blond hair and #2 said that his would have yellow hair. I asked about brown hair, #1 said no, but black hair would be fine.
I really just let the conversation flow with only an occasional question here and there. Kids are wacky.
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