Life is Not Always Wonderful, But It Could Always Be Worse

I still don't have a job. Money is just about all gone. We have no money for kids presents unless we put them on a credit card. We will be in the hole sometime in middle to the end of January. This pretty much sucks. I have applied at a temp agency even and no work there either. The Bonneville Power job that I earlier wrote about I was hoping for in another post, did not come though. Today I received a letter from the Bureau of Veterans Affairs that they are going to pass on me as well. So has everyone else that I have applied to--either that or they are going to postpone hiring until after the new year.

I went to see a counselor at the career services office this morning to talk about my prospects. She helped give me some other things I can do, but there does not appear to be any end to my joblessness in sight in the near future. Oh I am sure I am going to get a job, but I wish it were now. But it was very helpful to meet with her just the same.

I admit I am bit depressed. If you look at the my other blog you can see that my training has tapered down quite a bit. Partially the amount of workouts have decreased because there are days that I just don't care. I mean I care, but not enough to get out the door in the cold. Whatever. Today I rode in the bad weather, in some snow and it was great. Attitude is everything. I wanted to ride and so I had a great time. Great to get away from negative thoughts and doubts that occassionally swirl in my brain while I am at home. I don't feel productive when I am home. If Bridget is at work and I am home it is Ok, because at least one of us is making some money, but on days when we are both at home sometimes I just feel useless and cranky.

I am to the point where I am going to see if I can start delivering pizza or something just to bring in some money. Ugh. At least I passed the bar exam. Next week I am going to go get sworn in and join a couple of the new lawyer organizations and I am going to see about volunteering at Lewis & Clark's New Business Clinic. All the lawyers and students that work there do it pro bono, but it will perhaps give me some connections and a feeling of satisfaction from doing some good for those who could afford a lawyer otherwise.

At least we are all healthy, if not wealthy and my funk will pass. Bridget is confident that something will turn up. I think she is right, she always is--seriously. About life decisions like this she has a very good head on her shoulders and she has more faith than I at times like this--at least usually. She has been very nice to me while I have been in my funk. Anyway, I don't want to make it seem like I have been in a depressed mood 24 hours a day, but there is usually an hour or two a day where my thoughts turn dark and I worry about things. I mainly worry about the unknown. I have never liked the unknown. I am a worrywort. That is my bag and I/we will get through it fine. Enough rambling--everyone move on to the next couple of posts to read about more dead mice and moldy bread. ;)